Prompt #3

The Prompt: It was not the birthday gift I was expecting.

I let my hands fall to my sides in surprise as I stared at Elliot beneath me. The smile on his face was so sincere and confident, as though this couldn’t go wrong. As though everything was going according to plan.

This wasn’t in the plan, not mine at least. I needed my own space. We’d only just graduated together last year. I couldn’t go from school to him so quickly.

My mouth opened and closed, but I couldn’t get any words out. What was I supposed to say? Should I be blunt? Let him down easy? And in front of everybody?

I glanced up at my friends and my sister. They watched me expectantly, more silent than I’d ever seen them before. Not one of them squealed or whispered or even giggled. They were all waiting breathlessly for my answer. Only Amie looked hesitant. Her eyes were down in her lap and she refused to meet my gaze.

If there was one person I could have chosen to speak to in that moment, it would have been her. It should have been her here instead of me. I’d known she had a thing for Elliott when we started dating, but I hadn’t ever expected things to go so far.

“Get up,” I finally managed, my voice hoarse.

He grinned at me and shook his head, remaining on the single knee. “I think the rules are I’ve got to wait until you give me an answer. Marry me?” The diamond glistened invitingly in the small velvet box he held up to me.

This should be something I didn’t have to think about. This should be instinct. And it was. I knew my answer immediately, it was just the wrong answer. I had the perfect guy bent down on one knee begging me to marry him and all I wanted to do was vomit.

“Stand up,” I whispered. This time he obeyed, but the stupid smile didn’t go away. He had no idea what I was thinking. “Can we go outside?”

“Ooh, outside,” Payton teased as we headed for the door. Any other time I would have scowled at her for the implication, but I didn’t bother. She was the least of my problems. I heard the other girls giggle and I assumed she had winked at them.

Outside Elliott tried to take my hand, interlocking his fingers with my own. I almost tore my hand away, not wanting to lead him on further. This was the first time his confidence seemed to falter. “What’s wrong, Bee?” He asked. “Don’t you know what you’re going to say?”

The way he asked it made my skin crawl. As if there was no other answer. As if I didn’t have another choice. “And what if I don’t?”

“Are you serious?” He asked incredulously.

I took a step back. Confrontations always made me queasy. If I’d some preparation for this maybe I would have been okay, but it was so out of the blue. I hadn’t even suspected he might do this. “It’s so soon,” I said, deciding honesty would be best. “We haven’t even been out of school for a year. I’m just twenty two- twenty three!”

“But why wait if something’s right?” Elliott asked, his face confused.

I glanced to the side, not meeting his questioning gaze.

“You don’t think we’re right, do you?” He demanded.

I shook my head. “It’s not that, it’s just- we’re so- this isn’t supposed to happen.” I sighed. I never was good with words when it came to people. There wasn’t anything concrete to tell them, you just made it up as you went along. I didn’t like making things up.

“You don’t think this is right,” Elliott said, shaking his head. “Two years of our lives together and you don’t think I’m worth a simple yes?”

“It’s not that simple.” I tried to defend myself, but I didn’t know what to say. Maybe things weren’t right between us. Maybe it was him, maybe it was me, but marriage? It just seemed too crazy to comprehend. Weren’t we still kids? We just graduated from college yesterday it seems, and high school the day before that. Heck, where did middle school go?

“All this time we’ve spent together and you still think I’m not good enough for you.” He scowled at me, his face twisted into an ugly sneer. “That’s great, Bee. Real great.”

“That’s not what I meant,” I protested, but he was already walking off.

“You know what?” He asked, spinning to fix me with a nasty glare. “You always think you’re better than everyone. So just screw it, let’s have it your way! Call this thing we have over and you’ll never have to see me again.”

I didn’t know what to say to make him feel better or explain what I meant. I knew I should have said something, but nothing in my arsenal of words and phrases seemed to fit this situation.

So I let him walk away.

It took me several very long minutes to gather up the courage to go back into my birthday party. I knew they’d all have questions. They’d be annoyed. They’d want to know why I turned down a proposal from a guy as great as Elliott, because he was a great guy.

The room silenced as I walked in and they all stared at me. I could feel them silently judging me before Peyton finally broke the awkward stillness. “Where’s Elliott?”

I shrugged. “Can’t you guess?” I snapped. Maybe it was a little harsh, but I wasn’t in the best of moods.

“Sorry,” Peyton said quietly.

I sighed heavily. I didn’t want her pity. I didn’t want the looks the rest of the girls were giving. I couldn’t even glance in Amie’s direction. Elliott was her friend. She’d liked him, loved him even, for all these years, even before he started dating me. What kind of friend was I to do something like that?

All of a sudden I felt awful. I wanted to throw up rather than celebrate. It was my twenty third birthday, how had this turned into such a mess?

“You want to cut the cake?” Ty asked cautiously.

“Why don’t you guys just leave,” I suggested. “I want to be alone.”

There were a few quiet protests, but Peyton quieted them down and ushered everyone out. I sank into a chair. This was supposed to be a day of celebration, my official birthday out of school. How had I managed to screw things up so royally?

“Bee? You okay?” A small voice asked. I jolted at the sound of someone else. I’d thought I was alone. Soft footsteps padded around my chair and Amie sat on the sofa across from me. “I don’t think I’ve seen you like this before,” she said after a moment of silence.

“What’s it to you?” I asked, knowing it was mean the moment it came out of my mouth. It didn’t seem I particularly cared about anyone’s feelings anymore. “You probably hate me now. You and Elliott-”

But Amie shook her head. “Don’t make this about me. You look sad.”

I turned away. I wasn’t worried about crying, but I didn’t like being sad. And I didn’t like that Amie knew I was sad. “I’m fine,” I said bitterly. “Just ruined the only real relationship I’ve ever been in. I’m doing brilliant.”

“It’s okay to cry if you want,” Amie said.

I snorted. Mostly I just wanted to wake up and realize this day was all a bad dream. “God, what made him propose? Did you know that was coming? It was- oh god. Out of nowhere.”

“He’s in love with you,” Amie said with a shrug. “People want to show that they love you.”

“Was,” I corrected, feeling it really sink in. “He was in love with me.” I seriously doubt he was anymore.

“Maybe,” she said and opened her mouth to continue, but the phone cut her off. We both stared at it as it rang.

Once.

Twice.

“Are you going to get that?”

“It’s probably my parents,” I said. Wanting to wish me a happy birthday, no doubt. Unless- Unless Elliott had asked Dad for his permission. “Oh no, what if they know?”

Three times.

The panicked expression must have shown in my eyes because Amie reached out and put her hand on my arm. “You don’t have to answer it now. Talk to them another time.”

Four.

I’d never screened a call from my parents before. I wasn’t that kind of girl. We had a good relationship, especially now that I wasn’t living at home. “Can I?”

Five.

“Leave it, Bee. They’ll be fine.” I nodded and we waited.

Six.

Seven.

Finally a sense of peace settled over me as the answering machine clicked on. I wouldn’t be able to avoid them forever, but for now at least they didn’t need to know. For now I could keep things to myself. “Everything’s going to be fine, Bee,” Amie said.

I wasn’t sure if this was exactly true, but I nodded anyway. Amie was always a good friend to have in a crisis. “Now come sit beside me,” she said, patting the cushion on her left. “We can do nothing at all.”

I paused, then curled up beside Amie, drawing my knees to my chest. She put her arm around me without a word. Yes, Amie was definitely a good friend to have in a crisis.